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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28789953">Small Dancer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Von_Cheese/pseuds/Miss_Von_Cheese'>Miss_Von_Cheese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aliens, Cultural Differences, Dating, Domestic Fluff, Flirting, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Interspecies Romance, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Size Difference, Underwater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:14:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28789953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Von_Cheese/pseuds/Miss_Von_Cheese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Saru stammered, raising his elongated neck in an almost upset manner, "I-- I am afraid my dating life is none of your concern, Admiral. I must admit I am quite disturbed by your misplaced curiosity and I would rather have you express your demands right away, rather than inquire about my private life. Have I done something wrong to upset the Federation?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles Vance/Saru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dating Regulations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ok folks, so if you crave drama, angst, characters being hurt and in pain, you may rewatch Discovery season 3 and get your dose. This fic is set all along season 3 but no particular episodes are mentioned, except for the ending, so you can make it fit as you wish. It only contains fluff, schmoopy feels, cuddles, kisses, and our guys being cute and kinda dumb because they’re obviously in love. Nothing bad happens, just one chapter with a tiny bit of angst but you'll be warned and that’s all. Promise!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What Saru loved the most about his mind was its ability to focus on two things at the same time. </p><p>Apparently, this was not a universal feature across time and species, yet he was blessed with this talent, to hear and understand every single word the Admiral said while also appreciating the relative human beauty of his face. The kindness in his deep brown eyes, emphasized by endearing crinkles at their corners, the warmth of his smile, the presupposed softness of his beard, or the curves of his chiseled cheekbones that were quite attractive, not as much as a Kelpien's but still handsome for a human : all these Saru could revel in while following the serious conversation with his superior and not be too distracted by his charming appearance.</p><p>Saru enjoyed the man's company, their daily reports were moments he looked forward to, even when the last 24h had been eventless, much to their relief. This time had quickly become a reassuring evening rendez-vous, a friendly routine that gave them both a moment to wait for. Did Saru's heart beat a little faster when Admiral Vance's holo appeared in front of his eyes? And was it related in any way to his deep voice and his dark lashes? Probably, but Saru had too much on his shoulders right now and for the rest of his life to even think about acting upon these comfortable feelings. </p><p>Although he did not blame himself for finding an officer attractive, he was strong enough to keep their relationship professional and appropriate in every possible way. Besides, the Admiral, as indicated on his public file, already had a wife, and Saru knew he was not remotely close to human standards of attractiveness. Some Terrans had already stated this fact out loud. His softness of heart was one sided, would remain a secret, and maybe sometimes at night Saru would think about the Admiral's voice to fall asleep, a heartwarming lullaby. In this new era, in this unknown world and galaxy, Saru had decided his adolescent crush was good for his well-being, the Sphere had approved, and that was all. That was everything there was to say about this topic, and all the feelings Saru hid behind the lapels of his Starfleet uniform. </p><p>"... and I also had another question for you if you don't mind," Vance added after a second of silence during which he seemed to hesitate. </p><p>Saru was roused from his thoughts that might have drifted a little bit towards the Admiral's impeccable hair, "Why, yes, sir?'' </p><p>''I, uh…" Vance sighed, searching for his words. He stroked his jaw with a confused look. "What are the regulations on your ship when it comes to dating?" </p><p>"Dating?" Saru repeated, surprised by the direction of their conversation, hands folded behind his back. "As in… romantic involvement?" </p><p>Vance’s lips hid a smirk his eyes could not contain. "Yes, Captain, that kind of dating." </p><p>Saru had to think for a minute, his head tilted to focus back on the topic of the discussion. </p><p>"Well as far as I am concerned, Admiral, relationships are inevitable between crew members, and I think they are recommended for all species who need social interactions, whether they are of a romantic nature or not. Dating is encouraged as long as it does not disrupt the protocols or endanger the ship, or the Federation. Is there something wrong with that?" </p><p>"Definitely not, Captain, don't worry. Your policies are in adequation with the Federation's, we are on the same wavelength here," Vance nodded, both solemn and hesitant. So, hm... what about your own… involvements, Saru?'' </p><p>If Saru had been less distracted by the warmth of the officer's tone, he would have noticed the faint blush on the man's cheeks, or the shy worry in his smile. </p><p>But Saru did not see, blinded by the palpitations of his heart, and it's slightly embarrassed and upset that he stammered, raising his elongated neck in an almost upset manner, "I-- I am afraid my dating life is none of your concern, Admiral, I must admit I am quite disturbed by your misplaced curiosity and I would rather have you express your demands right away, rather than inquire about my private life. Have I done something wrong to upset the Federation?" </p><p>Realizing his mistake the Admiral took a deep breath, shaking his head from left to right, and held his palms up in sign of peace to appease the sudden tension in both rooms. </p><p>"Oh, no, no, I am deeply sorry, Saru, there was a misunderstanding! My apologies, I was not very clear." </p><p>Saru tilted his head, curious about the turn the discussion was taking. </p><p>"You are absolutely right, the Federation has no right to invade your privacy, and whom you decide to date, or not to date, is nobody's business! I am in no way asking as a superior officer, not as an Admiral to a Captain, but as… a man to another?''</p><p>''Oh…'' Saru simply breathed.</p><p>''Because I might be interested in… knowing if…'' Vance tried to explain, scratching the back of his head, all eloquence gone and cheeks a deeper shade of pink. </p><p>Saru nodded understandingly, or so he believed, ''Forgive me Admiral, I misunderstood your intentions. Apologies for my defiance. You wish to know if you may date someone on my ship? I-- I see no issue with that, as long as it does not interfere with the chain of command, but I trust you to know when to do what is right, and when to place the interests of…'' </p><p>This time the Admiral let out a deep sigh, frustrated by the outcome of their pointless conversation. He joined his hands in front of his sternum, almost ready to take a bow, and asked, looking right into the Kelpien's eyes,</p><p>''I am asking you, Saru, only you, if you would accept to dine with me, Charles Vance? No titles, no uniforms, just a quiet evening off duty, where I would be open to possible romantic outcomes, were they to happen." </p><p>"... oh?" Saru repeated, this time more surprised and joyfully confused than before. This was not an ending he had predicted for this otherwise average meeting.</p><p>"I can of course take no for an answer," Vance grinned, in a way that sounded both caring and seductive. "And it would not change the way I treat you and your crew, whether your answer was positive or negative.'' </p><p>Saru took a step back, as if the hologram could actually touch him, and tried to nod with a smile he did not want so embarrassed. Was it really happening or was it some side effect of time distortion? </p><p>''Admiral I… I mean, Vance…"</p><p>''Charles, perhaps?'' the Human suggested. </p><p>''Yes,'' Saru smiled. ''Charles, indeed. I am… open to such possibilities as well and would love to join you for dinner.'' </p><p>Vance's smile widened, a vivid light sparkling in his eye, and he slightly bent his knees in victory as he received his positive answer. </p><p>''This is wonderful news, my friend. Would you meet me at my quarters later, around eight?'' </p><p>''That would be my pleasure, Ad… Charles," Saru concluded with a small bow, slightly light-headed, dizzy even, completely unaware of his surroundings. </p><p>'Yes' was the only possible answer as his heart started to swell and bounce in his chest, yet it took the young Captain a solid ten minutes before he realized the full extent of his actions. When it dawned on him that he had just confessed his romantic interest to a superior officer, a handsome admiral of Starfleet no less, his thoughts started to flutter and his stomach churned within his belly. He had accepted the date… and for once Saru was scared, not of a deadly hazard but of a lovely risk!</p><p>He noticed he was roaming his own quarters when he walked by the large bay window for the tenth time in a row and decided to act upon his anxieties, the only way he knew to. With a wave of his fingers, Saru called the Sphere's AI. The polite voice answered in a second, always so clairvoyant.</p><p>“You feel worried, Captain Saru.”</p><p>“I might be… well, I am! But you surely could help me,” Saru crossed his fingers one way, then another, before he asked, “If I were to ask for advice on romantic relationships, which Discovery’s crew would be, in your opinion, the most recommended? Should I talk to Ensign Tilly? I-- I’m afraid I do not know…”</p><p>The voice remained silent for a fleeting moment before it did a small clicking noise that sounded like a “tsk”, then replied, “Based on the psychological profile of your closest friends and crew members, I would say Doctor Pollard is an excellent choice, although Doctor Culber would be the most appropriate for your situation. He is the best person to tell you about dating human males, especially when you’re of the same gender.” </p><p>“Culber, you say…” Saru tilted his head thoughtfully. “Well, thank you. I had not thought about him but he might be a good strategic choice, plus he is good at keeping secrets.”</p><p>“You’re welcome, Captain,” the synthetic voice chuckled, before it disappeared into a comfortable silence.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Culber's wisdom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Saru is extremely nervous , I mean, who wouldn't be in his situation?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In no time, because time was flying and the dreaded hour to take a leap of faith approached faster than warp speed, Saru headed to sickbay. Having a crush on a superior, a high ranked officer, was not a disease per se but it qualified as a minor inconvenience, right?</p><p>He found Doctor Culber was available for a conversation -blessed be the man!- and asked to talk to him in private. Saru, suddenly too aware of his body, tried not to look too suspicious. Was his intimate issue visible in any way on his face? Did his body langage scream 'I'm going on a date with what you humans call a silver fox'? Neither patients nor doctors could care less about the turmoils of his heart but Saru felt guilty anyway.</p><p>“What is it, Captain?” Hugh asked in a concerned tone after he was invited to disappear in a private area, far from curious ears. “Are you in trouble?” </p><p>Saru shook his head, then his hands, then his head again, “Oh no, no-- no, doctor, I am fine. Perfectly fine. As fine as a Kelpien Captain who just jumped more than nine hundred years in the future can be!”</p><p>“I am... glad to hear that?” Hugh nodded, seemingly not convinced at all, eyebrows raised in a funny manner. “May I ask what brings you to me then?” </p><p>Saru sat on a medical bed then got up. He frowned, brushed his fingertips over his own chin, wiped the sweaty palms of his hands on his uniform. Everything about him screamed anxiety and nervosity. Had he been still a young pre-Vahar'ai individual, he would have shaken and his ganglia would have palpitated nervously.</p><p>“Doctor Culber,'' Saru managed to croak, a concise summary of his situation. ''I was invited on a date tonight. A romantic date. With a human.”</p><p>As he understood the cause for his captain’s nervousness, Hugh’s face instantly broke into a wide grin. This kind of good news was too rare to be ignored, especially in times like these when everyone around suffered constantly. He gestured towards the bed to invite his shaky guest to sit down. </p><p>“A date? This is wonderful news, sir! I think we all deserve some rest, maybe you more than us, and if you feel the need for a relationship, I’m sure the whole crew will support you.”</p><p>“They must not know!” Saru shrieked in horror, holding Hugh’s hand in a panicked grasp. “This is just the dawn of something, or it may be a mistake, and I am not even certain that…” </p><p>“Nobody will know until you are ready, sir,” Hugh reassured him with a warm smile, always ready to be his friends' practitioner, psychologist, and sometimes confident. “Are you overthinking this? It’s perfectly normal to be nervous before a first date, to be fair that's also part of the charm. Paul was a babbling mess on our first dinner together, you should have seen him! Dating is an exciting adventure, a discovery… all explorers are allowed to be afraid sometimes.” </p><p>“I am,” Saru nodded. “I am overthinking this indeed, you are right, and I’m afraid the Kelpien ways are far from the Human ways, and I do not know what a man of your species could find pleasant about a man like me…” </p><p>Hugh took in the new piece of information with a quick move of his eyebrows but did not say a word. Was he surprised their shy and discreet Saru would date a human male? Well, yes, but in his defence he did not spend his time thinking about his superior’s love life. He presumed a species like Kelpiens, a species assigned prey at birth, would be more inclined to compulsory heterosexuality, to reproduce at all costs, but then Hugh just like everyone had preconceived ideas he needed to deconstruct. He mentally took note not to make such assumptions ever again, forgave himself, then moved on.</p><p>“Sir, if that man asked you out, if he gathered the courage to invite a Starfleet captain, no less, for dinner, let me assure you that he is surely smitten and motivated. It takes guts to date a superior officer, this is not something everyone is comfortable doing. He must appreciate you a lot, mark my words.”</p><p>“It takes guts,” Saru repeated with a desperate sigh, clapping his dry lips together. Every word falling from Doctor Culber's lips made him regret his decision a bit more. Did Saru even have what it takes to present himself at Vance's door?</p><p>Hugh opened a vial of sea salt and algae essential oils, let a few droplets fall onto a handkerchief to spread a comforting smell across the room and appease the Kelpien. </p><p>“Are you also concerned about the hierarchy element?” he then asked, trying to understand better the poor Captain’s fears. </p><p>“Very much, yes,” Saru nodded. “This adds a lot of uncertainty to this whole situation, especially knowing that he is married.” </p><p>Hugh tilted his head with a warm polite smile that meant he was listening but could not help wondering what mess their captain had gotten himself into. This did not sound good. Nonetheless, Hugh knew he would not try to refrain Saru’s ardors, rather educate him to give him the keys to handle his relationship the best he could.</p><p>“First of all, marriage means many things to many people. Since the beginning of times humans have gotten married for many cultural reasons and the best way to understand your suitor’s motives is to ask them. Communication is primordial, Captain, in every relationship, professional or not,” the doctor explained as Saru seemed to relax a bit under the effect of soothing oils. “When it comes to hierarchy, before you even think about how others will perceive your relationship, and whether you might be accused of bias towards your partner when they’re under your orders, I think this is something that must be cared for in private first. You and your companion should talk about your preferences, set boundaries, and express your hesitations about the situation. Once you two know where you are going, you will be confident enough to prove other crew members that you don’t give your significant other any kind of special treatment.”</p><p>Saru was listening with intent, eyes blinking slowly, serious as a pupil in front of his mentor. </p><p>“I… I think I understand,” he nodded thoughtfully before he added, “Although I am not his superior, quite the contrary, but I get your point, doctor. A lot of communication might be required in this case.” </p><p>This time Hugh could not contain the surprise on his face, luckily unseen by Saru who was still looking away, lost in his thoughts. A man higher than Saru within the chain of command? There were a few, but the only time Hugh had seen the captain talking to Vance, he had noticed how the Admiral looked so fondly at him, and as the dots connected he could not help smiling. This relationship could cause many issues over time, and the pair was so unusual and unexpected he would have loved to be a fly to spy on this strange date, but everyone deserves company and happiness, and if Vance’s intentions were sincere, this could be a good experience for Saru. </p><p>“Why did you accept the encounter, sir?” Hugh asked softly.</p><p>Saru seemed to wake up from a dreamy state and stammered, “Well, I-- uh… because I find him the most charming company, as well as a pretty creature.” </p><p>“Then this is all you need to worry about right now, sir, the rest will come later. Allow yourself to enjoy the evening, take some time for yourself before the next shift, you deserve to relax.”</p><p>Hugh pressed his hand on Saru’s shoulder in a comforting gesture, assured once again that everything would be alright and that the captain could come and discuss any matter with him whenever he needed it, then escorted him back to the door, amused and wondering if he would be able to keep this exciting secret from Paul.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Pleasant Evening : part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Before romance can bloom our boys need to make things clear.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saru barely had time to go back to his own quarters, pick a small indoor plant from Kaminar to offer his host, validate half a dozen report files, then try seven different outfits before dinner time. Traditional flowy robes might seem promiscuous according to human standards, but too strict garments might look too official and give the wrong impression he wanted to keep Vance at a distance. After an excruciatingly useless fashion show in front of his mirror during which Saru resisted asking for the Sphere's opinion, he picked a very simple toga any Kelpien could wear on a daily basis, not to overdo it, just in case Vance changed his mind during the last twenty minutes before their date.</p><p>Deep down he did not feel worth his charming Admiral's time and attention. Who was he but a shy misplaced Kelpien from ancient times? The man he was going to date was a strong officer who exuded a natural authority and a confidence anyone would envy. As a person Saru found him handsome, alluring, but as a Captain he wanted his morale and determination, leaving him with one more doubt among so many… did he wish to date him, or to be him? </p><p>As he clumsily stood in front of the door of Vance's quarters, suddenly feeling too tall, too slender, disproportionate among the Humans' crewmembers, Saru did not see the worry on his friend's brow. Vance gave his clock a nervous glance every five seconds or less, then nervously checked his outfit in a screen, moved a napkin one inch to the left before he put it back one inch right. The confident leader had turned into a shy insecure school boy waiting for his crush to show up, hoping the Kelpien did not find him too old looking, or way too young, or too boring, or perhaps...</p><p>Saru stood for two long minutes in front of the door until the clock reached 8:00:00PM (Universal Federation Time), then announced himself. Charles let out a shaky relieved sigh. </p><p>The moment the doors slid open and they caught a glimpse of each other in their civilian outfits, both men knew they had made a terrible mistake. They were deeply, unapologetically infatuated with each other, neither their blushing cheeks nor their feverish smiles could lie. They were both equally ready for any romantic outcome, and though their whole relationship would be complicated, they knew they wanted to take a risk they would have blamed their officers for. </p><p>"Here, for you…" Saru stammered as he walked into the comfortable room. </p><p>He gingerly handed his date the small plant in a clay pot, explaining, "This is the 'sweet dreams flower' from Kaminar. Its scent is believed to appease anyone's sleep and let them wake up more rested. It is particularly suitable for a bedroom.''</p><p>Yes, thought Saru, that was a great precision to add, absolutely necessary. </p><p>Vance held the pot with the same admirative look he could never contain when he stared at Saru, like the tiny plant was his holy grail and he had been given a dilithium wedding ring or such precious item.</p><p>"For me? Oh… thank you, thank you so much. You didn't have to but I am grateful you did, my friend!'' he assured as he reverently placed the pot on his bedside, close to his pillow. ''Please make yourself at home.'' </p><p>They awkwardly moved around each other, trying to find ways to settle without brushing against each other, until Vance eventually pulled a chair for Saru and offered him a seat and a drink, grounding them both in the moment. The young captain eagerly accepted the glass of Virgin Bo'Him Tar and finally started to relax as his friend sat in front of him. </p><p>''I'm so happy you are here,'' Vance admitted after a moment of silence with the same soft smile that never left him whenever he spoke to Saru. </p><p>The Kelpien however, not a master at flirting, and also a bundle of nerves at this point, couldn't help raising the point that had tortured him for a few hours now. With a worried frown he grimaced, "I have a question Admira-- Charles." </p><p>"Oh? Absolutely, you may ask me anything," Vance assured and he seemed to mean it in more ways than Saru could imagine. </p><p>"I remember reading your file when we first had access to the Federation's public data a few weeks ago, and your marital status claimed you have a wife?" Saru nervously picked a blue cherry from his cocktail. "I am just wondering, since you mentioned being open to romantic escapades…" </p><p>Vance hid his blush behind the glass as he drank to gather his courage. "Straight to the point, my friend, I like it. You are right, we should get that out of the way first." </p><p>Saru silently wished, a vivid prayer, that the Admiral would not admit cheating on his wife nor looking for an alien boy toy of some sort. He was a very attractive man, Saru just hoped he would not be that kind of attractive man.</p><p>"I do have a wife and a daughter. They mean everything to me, they are my family, my reason to make the universe a better place,” Vance explained with such astonishing honesty it was hard not to believe his every word. “Moira and I have been living away from each other for years now, and even though we exchange calls and messages nearly every day, we know how lonely hearts can get. She has a boyfriend, and a girlfriend as well, who help her find balance in her life and raise Sarah. I would rather know my wife is supported by caring partners rather than her being distressed and alone. And she does the same for me."</p><p>Saru nodded, head slightly tilted, not missing a word that fell from his superior’s lips. </p><p>"She has always been very supportive of my life choices, she also asked me to date someone a long time ago," Vance admitted. "But I never really found anyone who made me want to stop working and start taking care of myself. Until now…" </p><p>As far as Saru was concerned, the feeling was mutual. He appreciated that the Admiral would put words on sensations he could not eloquently express out loud.</p><p>"Now I would understand if the prospect of a polyamorous relationship could bother you. Some of us prefer exclusivity, I think Kelpiens are mostly monogamous, and should it be a problem for you then this is your right to call it a night," Vance assured in a tone that suggested he would be disappointed but always respectful of his date's choices. "I would understand your being uncomfortable sharing if such is not your culture. All I can assure you is that I am not playing tricks and games, and I am not looking to abuse anyone's trust.''</p><p>''Moira sounds like a caring lady…'' Saru marveled in a soft tone, wondering once again what the Admiral found in him when he already had such a loving partner. </p><p>"I told her about you, you know?" Vance confessed, playing with the tiny bio-silicone umbrella dipping in his glass. "I told her about my feelings, about this Captain from the past whose presence never failed to make me smile and to be fair, without her I would still be waiting for you to make the first move. I do have her blessings and she said, I quote, that you look lovely, righteous, and kind." </p><p>"Oh?" Saru blinked, almost frightened to receive compliments from a person he had never met. </p><p>Vance looked away, embarrassed, before he mumbled, "And then she added that I had to get back to dating before I forgot how to even kiss someone… she's a caring, loving soul but a ruthless one." </p><p>This time both men laughed in unison, both at Moira’s words and their own inadequacy, a strangely comfortable feeling. They felt shy, awkward, and not really sure of how they would handle this whole situation but at least, they would face these challenges together, for a few minutes, a few hours, or more. </p><p>Saru was not used to open relationships, handling one romantic interest already sounded like tedious work, yet truth be told, he was not one to remain within the limits imposed by his ancestor’s societies, quite the opposite. Captain Saru who survived the Vahar’ai was the one who broke every rule, even if it meant offering flowers to a married man with his wife’s blessings. Did that make him the Michael Burnham of his species? Saru chased that thought away, too confused about the implications it would raise.</p><p>For a second he dared to let his gaze linger over the Admiral whose casual shirt made him look more vulnerable, sensitive. This outfit that every Terran could wear in the streets, or in a public place, reminded Saru for a second that there were other places to visit, friendships to make, that the universe extended around Starfleet and their missions. He was grateful for Vance to offer him this opportunity, a few hours away from responsibilities and duty, a moment to remember who they were behind the badges. When his eyes met his friend’s once again, Vance was watching him, almost admiringly, with this soft smile that sometimes threatened to appear behind the stern officer’s facade. Other people would have described him as lovestruck, but rare were the ones who ever witnessed this look on the Admiral’s face.</p><p>“Would you like to have dinner now, or would you rather wait?” the human eventually asked after taking a sip to hide his embarrassment being caught staring. </p><p>Saru nodded, adjusted his toga on top of his shoulder not to expose too much skin, then got up to help him, but Vance urged him to sit back.</p><p>“Please, you are my guest!”</p><p>“Thank you very much, Charles,” Saru nodded before he politely sat back down. “I can still help you, in return for your hospitality.”</p><p>Vance murmured a soft “I could get used to it” to himself as he picked the platters he had had set for them, loving the ring of his name with a Kelpien accent.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Pleasant Evening : part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Behold... the tooth-rotting fluff.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On such a strange first date between two officers of different ranks, Saru did not expect any kind of grand gesture. Small moves and charming talks were the best he hoped for, however when he noticed that, just for him, Vance had asked for a Terran menu full of seaweed delicacies, Saru felt overwhelmingly touched, and cared for. The food was delicious, the intentions behind even better!</p><p>And as their initial discomfort and shyness faded away, when they stopped trying to contain their mutual admiration and attraction, spilling compliments onto each other like waves on a shore, they both found how easy it was for them to talk about anything. They talked without a pause, exchanged meaningful looks and fascinating insights or memories until the plates were empty, and the drinks refilled more than once. More than it being pleasant or interesting what Saru loved the most was that it was easy. Conversations came and went naturally, as if they had been friends forever.</p><p>Saru mentioned how he missed swimming the most, of all the things he missed from his home world. Swimming and diving into actual water as he used to as a child, and not in anti-gravity simulators. The Admiral informed him of a large swimming pool available for all at the Federation’s headquarters, and invited him to use it whenever he wanted to, an offer Saru promised to accept as soon as his schedule would allow it. </p><p>Then when they settled for a cup of tea on a close couch, Saru got to find out more about the man behind the uniform, a gentleman he fell for a bit more with every second. Vance loved to play team sports, and hiking. Just like Saru he loved watching sunsets on the beach, a prospect that made the Kelpien's heart beat faster and his fingertips tingle. And on top of everything, this charming, sensitive soul also loved…</p><p>“... poetry?” </p><p>“Yes,” the Admiral admitted, eyes on the floor, a slight embarrassed blush on top of his cheeks. “What can I say I love beautiful images and the words that create them. I know this may sound…”</p><p>“Do you also write poems?” Saru guessed, delighting in his friend’s embarrassment. </p><p>More obvious than he cared to show, Vance took a deep breath, bit his lower lip, nose pursed, before he asked, “What about you, dear, what else do you like to do in your free time? Besides swimming...” </p><p>The sweet name went straight to Saru’s heart and it took him a few seconds to recover from the shock. To this he could also easily get used. He thought for a moment. Sometimes work was so intense he forgot who he was, what his passions and favorite activities were before all of this. Duty, responsibilities… a whole Captain persona to cover a young Kelpien man with dreams and hopes. </p><p>“I love to dance,” Saru eventually said. “With my friends, my sister, my cousins… I love dancing for rituals or just for the joy of it. Our music is lovely and we like to express many emotions through the art of dance.” </p><p>The Admiral’s eyes widened, perfect eyebrows shooting up, and his lips opened on a loud gasp. </p><p>“Wow,” Vance eventually exhaled, looking more smitten than ever. “And I already thought your gait was graceful! You must be so elegant…!” </p><p>Saru waved his hand to dismiss his friend's enthusiasm. ''Oh, do you think I am the kind to fall for such flattery?'' </p><p>He was. But only when it came from such a gorgeous man.</p><p>''Well, are you?" Vance asked with a smirk that proved flattery could get flirty. "As long as my words are sincere and my intentions pure." </p><p>Had he been honest with himself, Saru would have admitted he fell way before the Admiral gave him any kind of compliment. These were just the seashell on top of the cake. Under his friend's mesmerized gaze Saru got up from the chair, stretching his long silhouette up. </p><p>"Computer," he ordered the AI, "play 'Agh ni-at Aleashik' please.''  </p><p>This ballad, the Lover's Song, was a classic tune played for young Kelpiens during celebrations in which they looked for romantic partners. It was said that couples who danced together to this song would live a long and happy life. These predictions rarely happened but the melody was a symbol of joy and newly found love.</p><p>Vance settled back against the couch, arms folded across his stomach, with a grin showing he planned on enjoying the show with the pleasure of a young groom watching his bride. His smile quickly faded when Saru leaned in and held his hand out to invite him. </p><p>''Please, my friend… will you be my partner?''</p><p>The moment words escaped his lips Saru noticed how forward they could sound. How rude! Forwardness was worth it though and Charles took his hand with the same devoted look he always showed.</p><p>"In every way you wish, Saru." </p><p>Saru pulled his charming companion closer and started to undulate his limbs in the most traditional way he could. Vance tried to follow, limited by his human anatomy, a funny but endearing sight. He looked awkward but Saru suspected he mastered many dancing styles from across the universe, as most diplomats did. And despite Charles feeling small and chubby next to his slender form, Saru delighted in the show. </p><p>After a few minutes during which they managed to find a comfortable routine, the rhythm got slower and their moves followed. Saru let his body sway closer to Charles, confused by their large size difference. Never before had he danced with such a short partner. Vance also looked frustrated not to find his footing. </p><p>"Here," Saru invited as he held his friend's hands. "Why don't you remove your shoes and put your feet on my feet?''</p><p>With a frown, Charles did as he was told but his face formed the most amusing pout as he started swaying again, much closer to Saru now, bringing his radiant warmth to the Kelpien’s body. </p><p>Afraid he had made a tasteless offer, Saru whispered, "Are we too close to your liking Ad-- my dear?'' </p><p>''I feel… I feel infantilized,'' the reply came in an upset tone. Charles was slightly colder now, disturbed by their new position.</p><p>Saru shrugged, large hands holding his partner's waist, "What do you mean? Kelpien children dance in their parents arms, or perched on their shoulders… not on top of their feet!'' </p><p>As Vance did not look more convinced Saru added, "Dancing on my feet to appear closer to my height does not make you a child, just a small dancer.'' </p><p>This time Charles bursted out laughing, holding Saru's shoulders not to fall back. His deep warm laugh echoed with Saru's giggles, covering the music, until he eventually admitted his shortness and rested his cheek against Saru's chest. </p><p>He tried to remain as appropriate as he could be, yet Vance was enthralled by all these new sensory wonders. His partner’s skin was warmer than a human’s, softer as well. Although his chest was textured with ridges, like a very much alive sculpture, his skin was smooth, slightly squishy, and yes, for a few seconds Vance wondered how those hands would feel all over his body. Despite having left his homeland a long time ago, the Kelpien still smelled of sea, sand, and stone pines, as if the beaches from his childhood were embedded in his DNA. </p><p>''Thank you," Vance whispered. "I am having a wonderful evening.''</p><p>Saru placed his large palm against Charles' temple in a highly intimate gesture, typical of his people.</p><p>"So am I, my friend, so am I…''</p><p>They had talked, shared, exchanged pleasantries for most of the evening, uncovered layers after layers of their personalities behind their badges, but when their voices faded and their only discussion remained their silent dance, when their bodies swaying in rhythm did all the talking, words were not needed anymore to reach new levels of intimacy. </p><p>Their moves had slowed down to a comfortable pace, a wonderful silence only broken by the soothing sound of their breaths. Vance's head rested against the hollow of Saru's chest, his warmth radiating through the thin linen cloth, the dance only now an excuse for cuddling. Saru could feel his partner needed affection just as much as he did.  It was not about finding a bedroom companion but tenderness and gentle touches. Someone to share the weight of leadership with. </p><p>The Kelpien also guessed the Admiral, a rather tall man for his species, was not used to being the shortest in an embrace. He was relaxed but still awkward, seemed to struggle finding a way to act and place his hands --which in fact, but Saru did not realize that, was also his will to remain appropriate and never touch a piece of exposed skin between the lapels of the very flowy toga.</p><p>After a long and delightful moment, Vance looked up, leaving a cold spot where the air now hit Saru's chest, and grunted with a pout that could only be described as very un-admiral like. </p><p>"You are too tall…" </p><p>His pout was childish but his eyes laughed in silence. Saru entwined their fingers with a smile.</p><p>"Oh, am I? Are you still upset with your having to dance on my feet? Do you want me to dance on my knees to be at your level?"</p><p>Vance chuckled, hands holding tightly not to lose balance. </p><p>"No, although that could be an idea… but you're so tall and there's no way I could just decide to kiss you…''</p><p>Saru felt himself fall for the argument. Their difference was new to Vance in more than a way. The man probably was used to being in charge of everything, in and out of his relationships.</p><p>''Now I just have to wait until you bend to my level, how unfair!'' the pouty admiral added, feigning outrage.</p><p>Saru let out a soft laugh. Charles was shorter but knew how with a look, a smile, be irresistible. To Saru the situation was equally unfair, how was he supposed to resist such a handsome gentleman in his arms? </p><p>''Do you want me to kiss you, Charles?'' Saru teased with an amused look.</p><p>Vance contained a hungry nod, shrugged instead as if he didn't want it with every inch of his being, ''Well… I wouldn't hate that.'' </p><p>''You wouldn't mind,'' Saru concluded, just as amused as his partner. </p><p>"Oh, but only if you want to," Vance added with a mischievous spark in his eyes, unable to fake indifference for too long.</p><p>''Is that an order, Admiral?'' Saru asked, delighting in the shorter man's torment.</p><p>He could not deny how funny it was to see the stern officer struggle with patience, and to feel wanted, desired too. This night had taught him more about himself and his ability to feel warm for a human than all of his years within Starfleet. </p><p>Vance tilted his head back to look him in the eyes, a whisper on his so kissable lips. "An order, Captain? No, it's a request… a plea. A prayer.'' </p><p>The demand expressed in such a husky voice made Saru want to kiss his partner indeed, and maybe in more than one place. And maybe squeeze him a little closer. Saru ran his long fingers up Charles' arms to cup the back of his shoulders, then his neck. </p><p>He was stunned. He was falling for him a bit more every second, forgetting all his hesitations, their status, the protocols they were breaching, the implicit rules they were breaking. Vance held his waist, leaning into him, trying to make himself taller to meet him in the middle. They did not even know if kissing each other wouldn't result in a space-time anomaly at this point, their only thought and target remained the loving lips right in front of them.</p><p>Saru's heart pounded in his chest. His forehead touched his superior's. About two seconds before the scheduled landing of their mouths against one another, the room turned red and a loud siren echoed within the place. </p><p>Saru tensed in an old fight or flight response, shoulders tight and legs ready to run, before he recognized the alarm. Vance took a step back, setting his bare feet on the ground, with a frustrated grunt. </p><p>"Sorry, red alert," he growled. "It's not black, it must not be that bad but I have to go…''</p><p>''I know, I understand,'' Saru nodded to show how he would not hold grudges and was aware of the restrictions their relationship would always face.</p><p>''Do you want to wait for me here, or…'' Vance asked as he disappeared behind a semi translucent door to quickly slip into his uniform.</p><p>''I think it's better for me to get some rest before my next shift,'' Saru regretfully admitted. ''But I had a very pleasant evening and I would love to reiterate the experience as soon as we are able to. If this is what you want, of course.'' </p><p>Behind the door Charles marveled at Saru’s ability to remain so polite and courteous despite the loud ringing and dramatic red lights. When he reappeared, he was back to his implacable Admiral stance, looking as good and serious as he always did in his uniform. ''As soon as we can, it's a date then.'' </p><p>Saru gave a solemn nod. ''It's a date. Have a good rest of the night, my friend?'' </p><p>''Have a great rest of the night my dear,'' Charles replied with a polite bow. </p><p>He turned towards the door to get out of his quarters while Saru raised his wrist to beam himself back to his own ship, but turned back at the last second and walked towards the Kelpien with a determined look. In a swift move, Vance jumped on a close chair to be even then planted a quick kiss at the corner of Saru's lips. </p><p>''Take care," he whispered against the ridges of his cheek before he fled through the door, ready to solve any problem thrown at him. </p><p>Saru allowed himself a few seconds of quiet peace to fully enjoy the remaining warmth against his skin, ghost of a quick kiss and sweet memories of that very pleasant night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Kelpien Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thirty-six hours had gone by since Charles had had to leave his lovely date in a hurry, for a false alert, to make it even worse. He was looking forward to their next private moment together, every holo conversation with Captain Saru punctuated with meaningful looks and fond smiles. They were careful not to message each other too explicit sentences but regularly throughout the day they shared a few words along the lines of 'I thought of our last conversations and wish to talk more about these matters' or 'The odds of being in a similar situation soon are high' like high schoolers afraid to get caught.</p><p>Every third shift, Vance had caught on the pattern to swim a few miles to relax his shoulders and back. Since his weekly routine helped him stay grounded and sane in these difficult times, he decided to keep his habits and went for a short swimming session before he would give Saru a private, non official call, then go to bed with a cup of herbal tea.</p><p>He was not in love per se with the Kelpien Captain from the past.</p><p> He was just slightly infatuated. Oh, yes, he thought about him before going to bed; he thought about him when he woke up, too, and sometimes in between he dreamt of their long comfortable discussions. He marveled at his intelligence, his manners, his educated and so quick mind, as well as his deep blue eyes so full of kindness. But that did not mean Admiral Vance was head over heels for a handsome alien. Although the fact that he had written a few verses about him already might say otherwise, but these were classified lines written by hand on a small notebook, nothing anyone should ever read anyway. </p><p>Vance saluted his crew members as he walked into the pool and got ready for his practice. A shallow part of him wanted to swim fast and exercise to look even better, even though he would not admit out loud to these superficial intents, but Moira and Sarah both said he looked radiant these days, and they were happy for him. Vance dove from the edge of the pool and started to swim back and forth in a soothing rhythm. In a few minutes he lost track of time and, focused on his regular breathing, reached a comfortable meditative state. </p><p>He was roused from his zone a few moments later when whispers rose around him. There were very few people left in the large area, but they had much to say. </p><p>Vance felt more than he heard the splashes behind him, and as he turned around, he noticed a new swimmer pacing in the warm water. A tall silhouette that barely resurfaced to breathe. The newly arrived officer was fast, efficient, an athlete that caused admiration among other crew members as if they had never met him before. Once Vance had wiped his eyes from chlorine water and caught his breath, he moved away to observe the swimmer, and as he caught a glimpse of light coral skin and sinuous ridges, he could only rest against the side of the pool with the shadow of a smirk, head filled with proud thoughts of “that’s my boyfriend!”. </p><p>Underwater Saru was in his element, a sight that pleased the heart. He could remain immersed for a long time, body flowing through the waves he created. He moved fast, plunged within the dark depths of the pool to resurface on the other side a few seconds away, never out of breath, like a pink dolphin playing in the Amazon. Vance forgot about his own training, mesmerized by his companion’s moves. Conversations died in the room and most officers left as the Admiral promised himself he would try to take Saru to the beach one day, and watch him fool around like the happiest Kelpien -- a man can dream.</p><p>Saru did not notice his presence for a long time, too focused on his amphibian ballet. After many long minutes of the most elegant show Charles had ever seen, save perhaps for his boyfriend dancing, Saru eventually stopped right in the middle of the pool to catch his breath. He blinked his multiple eyelids a few times to chase remnant droplets then eventually noticed his new partner watching from the side and blushed as if he had not just realized unbelievable prowesses. </p><p>“Oh! I had not seen you here, Admiral!” </p><p>“Well, I saw you, but you were hard to miss,” Vance smiled with a wink. “You seemed to enjoy the pool?” </p><p>Saru’s grin widened. In these moments he looked like he could forget about his responsibilities for a while, be more carefree, as much as his anxious nature allowed him to. “Yes! Thank you for the invitation, it feels wonderful.” </p><p>Both men slowly swam towards each other, meeting in the middle of the large water area, their moves as soft as their looks.</p><p>“Feel free to stop by whenever you want, my dear… friend,” Vance slipped, almost calling him even sweeter names despite cameras watching. </p><p>“I think I owe you,” Saru stated after a while as he looked around to search for surveillance lenses. “For something you gave me last time.” </p><p>“A kiss? Oh don't worry, it was given, Captain, I do not want to take it back,” Vance smiled, amused by his friend’s choice of words.</p><p>Saru spread his long arms to create slight tremors in water around them, “I insist, I am no thief, Admiral. If I am in debt with you I shall repay it, and then some. Besides, when floating in water we both share the same height.” </p><p>“Alright, that is very honorable of you, and I would not prevent you from repaying your debts," Charles chuckled, using all his willpower not to throw himself into his companion's arms. "But then we shall take this conversation where cameras cannot see us, for privacy reasons, and just to make sure the secrecy of this transaction is maintained?”</p><p>“I agree, this is what we should do,” Saru smiled.  </p><p>Vance turned around and started swimming towards the edge of the pool, eager to get back to his quarters with his Kelpien promises. He soon felt hands grabbing his ankles and pulling him down, deep underwater. As a reflex he tried to kick the hands away in a desperate attempt to escape but the strong hold changed into an embrace as he faced Saru underwater. Charles tried to arch to gasp for air, unable to reach the surface. Part of his brain started to panic, instinctively feeling all of his trust leaving him, until Saru placed a palm against his cheek, the other on his heart, to reassure him.</p><p>Soon Saru’s gentle hands guided him back down, against his slender -and nearly nude, not that the admiral could care about that fact right now- body, fingers massaging his shoulder blades in a gentle motion. Then the Kelpien placed his mouth over Charle’s open lips and pushed a deep breath into him. </p><p>The high ranked officer’s eyes widened both at what he first mistook for a kiss, and the mindblowing sensation of breathing under water. He gave Saru a stunned look, understood as the Kelpien explained, showing the ganglia behind his ears, where his abilities came from. Vance held onto his partner's shoulders, adrenaline slowly filling his whole body as he accepted another gulp of air, then a third. His legs wrapped around Saru’s waist, while he was pulled even deeper towards the bottom of the pool, lost, confused, and mesmerized like he had been on his very first space travel. The universe was utterly different from down there. This was not what he had in mind when he had offered to take this conversation where cameras could not see them, yet the experience was quite unique.</p><p>Underwater Saru’s skin felt even softer, his hands holding Charles so gentle, making him just the amiable giant Vance had fallen for during the last few weeks. It did not take long for Charles to feel fully comfortable and trust the man with his life, depending on him for breathing and loving every helping sigh that was given between parted lips.</p><p>For three endless minutes they held onto each other not to float away, Saru helping Charles with every single breath in long embraces that were not really kisses. After a too short eternity under water, Vance managed to find the will to leave their warm cocoon to breathe by himself again, and pressed a button on his wristband to beam both of them into his quarters. </p><p>In a flash, they rolled on the floor still embraced, gasping at the sudden change of atmosphere but showed no sign of wanting to move away from each other. They caught their breath, entwined their fingers not to let each other go. Charles rolled on his side while Saru curled against him, looking both tall, strong, and so fragile. A beautiful paradox Charles wanted to love and care for. </p><p>“I am sorry for frightening you,” Saru apologized after a minute with a sad look. “I just wanted to show you what I found out I could do. I was unable to breathe underwater before Vahara'i.” </p><p>Vance cupped his cheek in his palm then kissed his nose with a soft hum. “It’s okay, I was just startled. I love that you are so full of surprises.”</p><p>They exchanged soft looks and smiles for a long time, still dripping all over the clean floor, fingertips following each other’s lines and curves. Their next moves were uncertain, both men unsure if they should be reasonable and move on before they would be too feverish, or if they should explore their opportunities.</p><p>“Do you want to dry yourself up, dear, do you need a towel?” Charles offered, his hands slightly scratching the back of Saru’s head in a tender caress. </p><p>Saru shook his head with a lazy stretch. “Do I have to?” </p><p>“You have to…” the older man smiled before he knelt and hovered above his companion, “... tell me what you want. Otherwise, I cannot guess.” </p><p>“Permission to show you?” Saru asked, a hand on Charles’ thigh. </p><p>A sigh, soft, barely audible, and a desperate nod were the only reply.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll leave the follwing scene up to your imagination, but I'm glad Vance got his very own Shape of Water moment. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Not Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter happens before the end of the 3rd season, so any references to the ending are just uh... late foreshadowing at this point? :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saru's dreams had never been so delightful before. For the last two weeks, his sleep had been filled with soft smiles and brown eyes, and the warmth of an Admiral who said ''I love you'' as easily as he gave orders to his subordinates. </p>
<p>This dream felt like perfection, a moment out of time. Deep down he knew he was in his bed but he could almost hear like they were here: the waves crashing at the bottom of the cliff where they rested in each other's arms, wind blowing just enough to disturb Charles' hair. Saru was in his most favorite place, a fantasy of peace and well deserved rest. </p>
<p>For fourteen days now they had vowed to spend what very little leisure time they had in common together. Their schedules did not always match and they did not live in an era that allowed for too much rest and comfort, yet every instant they managed to steal from fate was precious above everything. </p>
<p>Saru in particular did not think, not so long ago, that he would get to have such a caring lover, a human, who understood the loneliness of leadership, and still wanted to know more about him as a person. He also did not imagine how fast they would become so intimate and yet, when every mission felt like centuries and Michael's unexpected reactions ruled their everyday lives, Saru could not imagine not making the most of every second spent together. </p>
<p>Most often before their next shift when they were lucky enough to lay in each other’s arms, Saru waited for Charles to wake up, in silence, pretending to sleep still, until his companion opened his eyes, yawned, then fumbled with the notebooks on his bedside to wake Saru up with poetry whispered in his ear. Sometimes, Saru slipped a few discreet rhymes during his reports to make the so serious admiral break his facade with an amused look. Always professional and serious in front of others, they never ignored their responsibilities nor duties; always competent and focused, yet irremediably in love. </p>
<p>The dream was sweet, a floating reverie. In a state of semi consciousness Saru expected Charles’ voice to wake him up once again with praises for his kindness, his gentle soul, or more cheeky verses about how his passion made his lover take his ancestor’s God’s name in vain.</p>
<p>It’s another kind of wake up call that startled Saru as his wristband started to beep. An incoming call from an unknown ID. </p>
<p>Both men quickly sat up in the large and messy bed, panic over their brows. Saru waved his long fingers to ask his partner to lay back down between the blankets, for they were in his room this time, and the Admiral was not supposed to lay between the Captain's sheets. Vance swiftly grabbed Saru’s jacket from where it had been left a few hours ago and helped him put it on before he buried himself under the blankets to get out of the holo visual champ. When the Captain answered the call he looked formal, as elegant as usual, in Vance’s opinion, but from his stomach down he was naked as the day of his birth, and nothing could let that be guessed through the call. </p>
<p>Saru’s eyes became comically wide, his forehead blushed when he saw the woman on the holo. He clapped his dry lips and he who had lost all shyness between Charles’ arms only managed to croak a timid “Hello…?”. </p>
<p>“Hello,” the lady replied with a smile, looking just as impressed as he was. “Captain Saru, am I right? My name is Moira, I am…”</p>
<p>“You are Mrs Vance,” Saru nodded with a respectful nod as if he bowed before a queen. “I saw your pictures all over his quarters. Pleasure to meet you, Ma’am.” </p>
<p>Moira joined her hands in front of her chest and assured, “The pleasure is mine, Captain. I have heard so much about you for the last month, I am glad to finally get to talk to you in person.”</p>
<p>“Likewise, it was a much needed introduction! Charles keeps talking about you and Sarah, he tells me about your work and how he misses your delicious buns,” Saru stated, not realizing the possible double-entendre nor why both Vances bit their lower lips at his unfortunate choice of words. </p>
<p>“I just can’t wait for the day I can make a meal for both of you,” Moira smiled to dissipate the tension. </p>
<p>Saru nodded, reveling in Moira’s gentle smile. She made him feel comfortable, she seemed so positive about him dating her husband, talking to her felt naturally easy. For a few instants they observed each other, detailing each other’s face out of sheer curiosity, without judgement, before the lovely woman spoke again.</p>
<p>“I would like to express my gratitude to you, Captain Saru," Moira added softly. "I had not seen Charles looking so radiant for years now, he tends to get lost in his work, never takes a break, especially since Sarah and I moved away… sometimes he becomes as grey as the walls of his quarters! You brought some life back to his smile, and for that, even if, for some reason, it did not last long between the two of you, I am grateful beyond measure. Thank you for taking such good care of him.” </p>
<p>“Oh... “ Saru had to think for a minute to find his words. “I cannot begin to express how much your words mean to me, Moira, your blessing is a gift, and I am grateful that you have let us this opportunity to discover each other. The man I met beneath the Admiral’s surface is a beautiful soul, he is the one who makes me grow and helps me through this new era, not the other way around.” </p>
<p>Charles’ head emerged from under the blankets, looking disheveled and refreshed by a long night of sleep. “You two realize that I’m here, right?” </p>
<p>Moira’s grin disappeared behind her hands as she looked at her husband with so much love she seemed like she would burst. </p>
<p>“Look at you!” she exclaimed, pure joy on her face. “I had not seen you like this in ages!!!” </p>
<p>Charles rested his head on Saru's shoulder to be seen on screen and winked at his wife with such tenderness and complicity Saru felt himself melt on spot. These two were the epitome of love and he was blessed to be able to share a part of their life even just for a moment. </p>
<p>''Thank you for kicking my butt, sweetheart, you were right. I had to do something about it," the Admiral admitted, like he probably only admitted his mistakes in front of his most loved ones. </p>
<p>Moira rolled her eyes then gave Saru a knowing smile. She managed to look fondly exasperated, and yet so open minded and bright. A pure ray of light, just like her husband was in private. </p>
<p>"I'm gonna have to leave you gentlemen,'' she eventually said, looking to the left, "I am going to check on Sarah, she went out with friends tonight.'' </p>
<p>''Friends?'' Charles cringed, switching from gentle lover to all-concerned dad in a split second. </p>
<p>''Artist friends," Moira replied in the same tone, both worried as a mother and eager to let her daughter experience freedom. ''We'll let you know how things went on our next call, okay?"</p>
<p>Charles whispered a soft desperate ''Artist friends…'' and shook his head much to Saru's amusement. His caring, loving nature had a darker side: way too much worry for his family. </p>
<p>"Kids, you know... " Moira sighed, looking straight at Saru who could only give her a sorry look.</p>
<p>''Alas Ma'am I do not think I will ever have any of my own, but I'm going to believe your experience here,'' the Captain wisely concluded. ''I would like to thank you again for your kind words, and for making Charles such a sweet person." </p>
<p>''Oh he always was the sweetest guy,'' Moira assured. ''You just have to dig under the grumpy serious facade to find the hidden teddy bear, it's always there.'' </p>
<p>Saru and Moira paid their respectful salutations while Charles buried his face in his lover's shoulder, vehemently denying his teddy bear label, yet still snuggling closer to enjoy their last half hour of cuddles before a long time. </p>
<p>Vance ran his tiny fingertips all across his lover's face, mapped the complex shapes of his cheeks, his forehead, his round nose he found irresistible. On duty he sometimes felt like two people at the same time, Admiral on one hand and Charles on the other hand. This dichotomy he also felt about Saru, serious Captain by day and romantic adventurer at night --or whatever these were called in this part of the universe. In those moments when their embraces became so lazy, so relaxed a half-asleep Saru mumbled in his native tongue, Charles learned the kind of Kelpien vocabulary about love and relationships he hadn't been taught in school. </p>
<p>"Did you write yesterday, when I fell asleep?'' Saru asked before he curled up, too tall for it but definitely in need of a big spoon. </p>
<p>Charles placed his arms around his lover's shoulders, loving how small Saru could make himself when he craved comfort and protection.</p>
<p>"I tried but only got a couple of verses, a certain someone exhausted me." </p>
<p>''They should not treat an Admiral of the Federation this way, this is unacceptable," Saru nodded with a fake outraged pout. </p>
<p>Charles chuckled against his friend's temple, planted several kisses onto his shoulder blade before he recited in a low voice. </p>
<p>
  <i>"And as my reason left, my heat rose with my feelings<br/>My love for him growing with each of our meetings<br/>When my sentiments reached a point of no return<br/>I realized a Kelpien was the source of my Burn…" </i>
</p>
<p>Understanding the implications of his outrageously funny words, Saru buried his face in his palms with a laugh that sounded like a hiccup. </p>
<p>“You joke about such a disaster, you…” </p>
<p>“... for us that’s not too soon, my love, but I forgot this was all new to you,” Vance apologized with a sorry kiss.</p>
<p>“I would hope our private instants are not as dramatic as this catastrophe, if such is the case I am truly sorry,” Saru said with a purr, turning around to face his lover. </p>
<p>The next kiss, tender and full of silent “I’m going to miss you”, showed him how far from the truth he was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Forbidden Love Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys talk about their unusual relationship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“She was wrong, you know?”</p><p>Saru barely managed to whisper words between kisses. Charles’ lips were holding him hostage, yet not against his will. With his mouth, his tongue, the shorter man kept him grounded. They did enjoy all kinds of sensual activities together, found ways to play with their bodies as they had not in years, but at the end of difficult shifts and after making painful decisions, nothing was more comforting than those tender snuggles and kisses. </p><p>"Hmm?" Charles moaned as Saru nibbled his ear lobe to catch his attention, a truly disloyal move.</p><p>"Moira," Saru chuckled. "She was wrong, you had not forgotten how to kiss at all…" </p><p>Charles let out a throaty laugh, "Not yet but I was so close… so, so close. I'm glad I found a good teacher." </p><p>"You just need to practice Admiral, don't they give these trainings anymore at the Federation?''</p><p>For a split second Charles gave Saru a puzzled look, wondering if this was true or not, until he understood it was a joke and laughed with him. </p><p>Getting the respected and feared admiral to laugh never ceased to make Saru proud of himself. He sometimes heard what his crew had to say about 'Vance' and felt sorry for them as they did not really know the man who slept by his side. They were a secret, a taboo. They who enforced the rules were the first to break them, by hiding their involvement, for the greater good or so they hoped </p><p>“Have you ever thought about us? About our relationship?" Saru eventually asked, fingers curling behind Charles' shoulder. "How… uncommon it is, how forbidden on so many levels? Our ranks, our species, our histories, our ages. I sometimes feel like nothing was ever made for us to be together, even within the secrecy of our bedrooms?” </p><p>Saru was laying on his back, on Charles’ couch. After their last shift, so chaotic and exhausting, both men barely had gathered the energy to share a terrible sandwich before they crashed on the couch and buried themselves under a pile of warm blankets. Staying there all night instead of moving to the bed was a high probability at this point. Charles had settled on top of him, straddling his waist, his face buried in the crook of Saru’s neck to search for his warmth and his slight iodic scent. </p><p>“I did,” the Admiral replied, lips moving against his lover’s skin. “I am aware of all those elements that could stir trouble. But I do not care.” </p><p>Saru raised an eyebrow, he tried to look at his partner but Charles was already burrowed in his shoulder. “Oh, you do not care? You’re having an affair with someone you should not bed and… you simply chose not to care? Is that an Admiral thing? Switching the 'care' button off?”</p><p>This time Charles let out a warm deep laugh, the kind that made Saru shiver like an adolescent Kelpien before his first fertility celebration. He crossed his arms on Saru’s chest, then placed his chin on top of his wrists, to look him in the eyes. His whole face was smiling, always so warm and reassuring. </p><p>“I know what people would say, trust me. I heard it all out before, not about me but about others. I can only imagine what they would think… and I'd rather not," Charles said, with the wisdom of experienced men. ''We are not doing anything wrong or illegal. Unethical maybe, unprofessional perhaps, although we try to make it work, but I am quite sure this is consensual. I might have lost track of the count of your “yes” and “more”.” </p><p>Saru placed his palms behind his lover’s head in a gentle gesture, so soft, protective, then nuzzled his soft beard with his nose. </p><p>“True,” he nodded, “this is not wrong nor illegal. Yet although we’re not breaking the rules of the Federation, nor our personal ethics, I feel sometimes like that bond we share would not be approved by many within our societies. Our differences…”</p><p>“... make us who we are,” the Human replied. “Let me tell you a story, from a long, long time ago…”</p><p>Saru shook his head, “Please spare me Romeo and Juliet my dear, I know this one.” </p><p>With a chuckle, Charles assured, “I promise that’s not the one. It’s a true story that happened around the year 2000, on Earth."</p><p>With another nod, Saru signalled he was ready to listen and rather curious. </p><p>"In these days, two territories were at war with each other, one having colonized the other… sadly a classic story during the course of humanity," Charles started to narrate his tale, his voice always so soothing. "A young woman from one of these territories, which was named Israel, I don't know if you heard of it, fell in love with a man from Palestine, across the military border. Their love was forbidden in every possible way, they did not share the same culture, the same religion, and their families would never have understood how they could get past their upbringings to fall in love with the enemy. So they ran away, together. They managed to escape their written destinies, they left everything behind to build something on love rather than conflict and hatred. At least, this is the version of the story I grew up with, there might have been some adjustments made with reality. These two lovebirds, Rachel and Djibril, were my ancestors. When I was a child my mother told me about them, this family legend, as a way to teach me to fight for what I believed in. She told me about their struggles, the intolerance they faced in other countries, back when Humans hated each other for looking different or having various beliefs, I remember the pain they went through as they desperately tried to get a better life. So, my love, from my perspective what you and I have is nothing but joy. It might be forbidden to some, and you know we both love to follow protocols, but this is innocent and sincere. With our uncertain futures, I do not know for how long it will last but I intend to enjoy every second I can spend in your company.” </p><p>Saru gently placed his forehead against Charles’ and slowed his breathing down until the rhythm of their chests matched in a loving communion. </p><p>"I think you are right, my love. I tend to forget life is not just Starfleet and the Federation, war and conflict…" Saru whispered. "There's nothing inherently wrong in loving someone and trying to cherish them."</p><p>Charles placed his cheek against his lover’s, always so tender. "I do feel cherished in your arms." </p><p>He brushed butterfly kisses all over Saru’s face and added with a knowing smirk, "Besides, I think it's very good for us to indulge in a forbidden crush. We need to have a part of our days that is secret and somehow not really authorized, as a catharsis, to be able to strictly follow rules in our every day lives.'' </p><p>''Are you implying it's a necessity to throw yourself at me whenever we have a minute of free time?'' the Kelpien chuckled, arms slithering around his waist to keep his lover closer.</p><p>''Primordial, yes!'' The answer came with a laugh and a gentle forehead bump.</p><p>Saru knew they both found the secrecy enthralling for it was difficult in their position to have a place to really call theirs. Within their ships they did not really have a time or space for a private life. Their embraces were the last moments they could spend out of duty. Making his so short and so smooth lover lose his mind still was for Saru the sweetest responsibility of all.</p><p>Yet both men knew they should not fool themselves, their crews were smart and observant, they most probably knew and accepted that some hidden things were going on. They were too respectful not to say it out loud in their presence.</p><p>The young Captain ran his claws across his dear friend's back and asked, hoping for an utopian distant future, “When you retire, will you tell your grandchildren about me?” </p><p>Charles’ breath caught in his throat before he groaned, “Grandchildren? I am not ready for my daughter to have a love life!”</p><p>“This might happen, eventually,” Saru chuckled.</p><p>“I am not ready and I would like to talk about something else!” Charles cowardly whined as he hid under the blankets, now back to his goofy father role after the solemn story. Saru agreed out of pity for his poor lover, pleased to know he would never know himself the torments of fatherhood.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Reunion and departure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A tiny bit of bittersweet angst for this one, before we can go all fluffy for the last chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His quarters were empty, dead silent when Admiral Vance walked through the door. He needed to crash on his bed for a couple of hours, certain he would not find sleep anyway. Maybe he should replace this much needed break with a double 'kind of coffee' from the replicator and dive into work some more?</p><p>The discreet humming of all running systems was only disturbed by a soft regular breathing sound whose source Charles instantly noticed. Saru was sitting on a chair, in the dark, human furniture way too small for his long limbs. Charles' heart missed a beat as his brain understood the man he treasured was finally here. At last, Saru was back, safe and sound, as healthy as could be despite all those radiations, battles and explosions!</p><p>Charles' nose and eyes started to tingle, his breath caught in his throat, unsure if he needed to scream or to cry. These last hours had been filled with hard decisions to make, sacrifices even, and now Saru was here in flesh, bones, and visible exhaustion. A relief and a curse. </p><p>Charles walked to the chair where his companion rested, looking both tired and slightly upset, and, trying to place a comforting hand upon his shoulder, just collapsed into his arms with a gasp. Saru instantly held him in his arms but something in the Kelpien’s grasp was not right. </p><p>Something felt unusual, different. </p><p>The warmth he always radiated when he embraced his human with his impossibly long limbs was yet to be found. Charles swallowed a lump in his throat as he moved his head back a little, just enough to look Saru in the eyes, eyes that looked almost black in the dark. </p><p>His heart started to pound faster in his chest, and he who was five seconds ago so happy and relieved to see his lover back in one piece now understood something was wrong. Oh, he could not lie to himself, he knew what was going on. A wrong he had tried to bury within his core not to think about it, a feeling he had ignored for the better good, the kind of bitter truth he knew would inevitably taint any romantic relationship with an officer in these times of conflict. They could try to make things work in private, they could communicate, apologize even, yes, but how could Saru forget and forgive when his supposedly 'caring partner' had deliberately decided to leave him, Culber, Adira, and Su'Kal behind? Alone on that deadly nebula?</p><p>Charles took his hands off of his lover’s face, or was it his ex-lover now, but did not dare to move away from his lap. He nervously sat straighter, ready to face the consequences of his actions, the frown over beloved eyes the worst martial court of all.</p><p>“Are you furious with me? Do I still have a chance to be forgiven, or did I ruin everything?” he managed to ask in a bitter tone, angry with himself. </p><p>Saru seemed to emerge from the fog he was in and gave him a puzzled look, blinking his dark eyes.</p><p>“What…? Oh, dearest, what do you mean?” </p><p>Charles frowned, dared to remove a sprinkle of dust on his friend’s shoulder, “I almost left you there. I abandoned you, and attacked your ship, and…”</p><p>Understanding his words, Saru finally got out of his tired state to cup Charles' head in his large hands, placing their foreheads together in a Kelpien embrace. </p><p>“No, my love, no you did not. You made the decisions you needed to make, and I cannot blame you for that, not now or never," he assured in a soft and warm tone. ''I can’t even start to imagine what you have been through. We all did what we could to save lives, I could never be angry with you for accomplishing your duty, please, do not even think about it!” </p><p>Saru kissed his temple, his cheek, with a promise, "You did nothing to upset me, love, I see you a hero." </p><p>The excessively warm words and touch reassured Charles as he melted back against his lover’s torso with a relieved sigh. He could have chosen to hesitate again but he was too tired not to trust Saru entirely. He snuggled closer, not disturbed to be a little spoon anymore, a tender stolen moment before… what? He didn’t even know. </p><p>“It’s me who should be sorry, my love, I am the one who has to apologize,” Saru finally sighed, sounding disappointed with himself. </p><p>Charles could have felt strange about it, or upset with such tension, but as long as Kelpien fingers remained on the nape of his neck or the back of his head, for a moment everything felt right and good. Every second of warmth he would unapologetically enjoy. After caring for a whole universe for the last few days he could appreciate a few minutes of self-care.</p><p>“What for?” Charles mumbled with a low purr. </p><p>Saru hesitated for a second before he let out a heavy sigh and announced, “I am sorry, my love, I am going to Kaminar.”</p><p>The Admiral looked up with a happy smile, eyebrows shooting up with joy, “Of course you are!” </p><p>“I-- I will stay there for a while,” Saru explained as if his companion did not understand the meaning of his words, fingers gently pressed over his neck. “I do not know for how long, nor when we will see each other again… or if…”</p><p>“Yes,” Charles grinned. “I know, sweetheart. I am so happy for you!”</p><p>Saru tilted his head, even more confused than before. The tables of guilt and shyness had turned in an instant, as proved the blush on his forehead. “Wait, are you not upset having to say goodbye?”</p><p>With a trembling sigh, Charles entwined his tiny fingers with Saru's and shook his head, his whole face smiling. His heart was filled with contradictory emotions, all warm and loving.</p><p>“From the moment I decided to follow Moira’s advice and ask you on a date I just knew, my dear friend, that a day would come when I would have to make difficult decisions,'' he explained as he peppered kisses over his boyfriend's knuckles.</p><p>''So many things could have gone wrong, there are so many ways I could say goodbye… we could have been torn apart by our ranks, ended up bitter about each other, have our love turned into hate by external elements. Or worse. I could have bid farewell to a coffin, or you could have disappeared and left my heart an open wound unable to mourn… don’t you think I did not imagine all those tragic possibilities, way too many times, when you were two minutes late for our meetings?”</p><p>Charles placed a soft kiss on Saru’s cheek. The Captain barely seemed reassured.</p><p>“Being separated because you have to raise your adopted son, I did not expect this one, and trust me this is my favorite option of all. Su’Kal needs you. He could not dream of a better father figure.” </p><p>Saru took a moment to fully understand his words. He did not really see himself a father figure yet, more like an awkward inexperienced tutor. He stroked his neck absentmindedly, slowly coming to terms with his partner’s point of view. </p><p>“How can I make it clear?” Charles asked in his softest tone. “I am happy that you take some time to care for your child, the kid needs you. Take as much time as you need, the Federation will always benefit from having men like you, but family is so important. See it as a paternity leave and don’t ever apologize for taking care of Su’Kal. You will raise him, but trust me, he will also raise you and teach you so much about yourself!” </p><p>“Yes, I can see that now,” Saru admitted, memories filled with all of his heartbreaking conversations with the young Kelpien. “Thank you my love, you make all of this easier. I am so worried for my crew, my friends, my man…”</p><p>“Oh, I’m your man now?” Charles teased, still moved to tears by his lover’s growth.</p><p>Saru clicked, pulling him closer, his eyes filled with a storm of emotions. “My Man, yes, mine.” </p><p>“Yes, yours, always,” Charles assured before he pushed himself against Saru’s chest for one last meaningful embrace. </p><p>He breathed his skin, let his hands travel up and down his body to imprint its contours onto his palms. The prospect of losing their tender instants was unpleasant of course but Charles had always preferred, for better or worse, to know his loved ones safe even if that meant they would be away from him. Saru’s life was taking an important turn, he had to focus on his own growth rather than on his romance. There would be many opportunities to fool around later. And perhaps he would find someone to bond with on Kaminar, someone who would feel much closer to him, and that would break the Admiral's heart a little, but Charles would sacrifice so much for his favorite Kelpien's happiness. </p><p>“I’ll message you often,” Saru promised.</p><p>Charles nodded, “Yes, you will. I want everything. I want to know about the little details, I want you to tell me about all of Su’Kal’s first times: his first dip in the sea, his first taste of real food, I want pictures of you two… and videos too. Don’t hesitate to keep and share those memories, love, they will be precious beyond measure.” </p><p>“I will, I promise," Saru assured with a kiss over his lover’s brow. ''And maybe one day, if you have some time to spare, you might even visit us?” </p><p>“That would be perfect, yes.” </p><p>The future as always was uncertain but his companion leaving towards a happier situation was so much more than Charles ever hoped to dream of. He snuggled closer and did not refuse when Saru asked for a picture of them together as a last token memory before he would head back to Discovery. Su'Kal could wake up any moment now and understandably Saru did not want him to be alone and scared. </p><p>''I assume you decided Tilly would replace you?'' Vance asked as he smiled towards the holo that would take their picture.</p><p>Saru shrugged, "She did an excellent job but I do not think she wants to hold this position any longer in such a complicated context. You will ask Michael instead, she might need this to channel her impulses as well."</p><p>The first picture the holo snapped was hilarious, Charles' eyes comically wide and his lips curled into a shocked grimace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Three C</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>One last dose of pure, domestic fluff.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>''Is he here? Is he here???''</p><p>Saru buried his face in the soft pillow with a groan. One of his blue eyes opened to watch Su'Kal hovering above him, focused, excited, way too agitated for such a quiet morning on Kaminar. </p><p>"Hm?" was the only unintelligent reply to come out of Saru's throat.</p><p>Su'Kal rolled his eyes in an exasperated manner. He looked like he had not woken up that long ago. "You said your ras'houl would come visit us today! Has he not arrived yet? FATHER! You cannot sleep when we must prepare for your ras'houl's visit!'' </p><p>''He will come today,'' Saru assured, a soothing hand on Su'Kal's wrist. ''I promise you this is planned, we are all looking forward to it. But worry not, we have plenty of time to get ready.''</p><p>Saru closed his eyes to try and gather some energy before what promised to be a long day. A curious finger came to poke his temple. Once. Twice. Ten times in a row.</p><p>''But I wish to meet him, father!" Su'Kal insisted. "Is he kind? Is he tall? For how long does he hold his breath under water?''</p><p>''Yes," Saru replied, mourning his last minutes of sleep. ''No, and I do not know. My child, please, give me a minute to wake up.'' </p><p>''Fine! I will prepare a kelp garland to make him feel welcome since you won't," Su'Kal yelped in an impudent tone, jumping to his feet next to his mentor's cot before he ran out of the small house they shared by the sea. </p><p>Saru sat with a grunt, yawned as loudly a human would do, and almost complained about being roused from sleep so early when he was off Federation duty. Then, as he saw the clumsy silhouette picking algae on the shore, it dawned on Saru that Su'Kal, for the first time of his life, was excited, happy, and eager to meet a stranger. And in an instant Saru did not regret his early wake up call because it meant so much to the both of them. Su'Kal had already changed so much, even though it required a lot of patience and understanding -- and the complete acceptance he would never be like any other Kelpien but that did not matter!</p><p>Saru himself had changed a lot, coming back to a Kaminar he did not really know, discovering feelings and abilities he didn't know within himself. He felt more mature and connected to his roots, though he did not belong entirely. A balance was yet to be found between the man, the officer, the father, the ancestor, the legend some Kelpiens even thought he was. He wondered how the encounter with Charles would go, now that they all had time to evolve, away from each other, and perhaps grow apart. Would the spark in their hearts still be as vivid? </p><p>By the time Vance beamed onto the closest beach, a few hours later, Su'Kal had crafted two kelp garlands to hang above the door of their small house, picked toknuts to squeeze a fresh cup of juice for their oh so important guest, and prepared a raw fish salad for lunch, all while urging Saru to just do something for this unique day, heavily implying his dada was a lazy slob, though not with these words.</p><p>Saru watched in awe as the man he had not seen in long weeks looked around, mesmerized. Now that he saw him so close, reachable, Saru realized how much he had missed him. They had talked or messaged each other almost every day, sharing stories of their respective struggles, one to save the universe, the other to raise his own young universe. Yet none of this compared to the pleasure of being close, in a comfortable silence, just staring at each other like civilians gaze at the stars. The tangible reality of their love radiated from their smiles.</p><p>Charles felt his heart grow as he was blessed once again with the vision of his partner walking, elegant and flowy like a blade of grass in the breeze. He extended his arm up to wave at Saru who could not have missed the only other person around, then walked to him, relieved to find him so refreshed after his stay on Kaminar. Despite his hurry he took his time to join Saru, as usual meeting him in the middle, until they could join in a very chaste embrace. </p><p>Saru’s moves were more kelpien now, as he placed his palms on Charles' head in a controlled but tender gesture. The Admiral enjoyed every second of it, simply happy to be here. The touch of their hands froze time for a few heartbeats.</p><p>''I am glad to see you my love,'' he murmured, barely audible under the sound of lazy waves. </p><p>Saru almost folded in two as he bent over to gently place his forehead against Charles', ''I missed you.'' </p><p>The erratic sound of a gallop did not manage to make them look away from each other. For civilians, their relationship would have been judged as short and relatively recent but in their situation, after all they had experienced together, it had quickly reached the point of comfort and complicity only old lovers can share. </p><p>Su'Kal almost bumped into them like a bowling ball, too hurried to stop on time. He interposed two pieces of linen between both men.</p><p>''Father, which towels should I take out for his ablutions?'' </p><p>''Whichever you think might be more appropriate, my bubu," Saru replied in a soft tone with an infinite patience. </p><p>Su'Kal nodded, then asked for the hundredth time since dawn, "Alright… also, when is he coming? Your ras'houl? That we shall meet today?" </p><p>In a delicate move Charles found so endearing, Saru curled his hand then presented his palm towards his lover to show that the aforementioned 'he' had, indeed, arrived. Su'Kal blinked in confusion a few times, eyeing Charles from head to toe. </p><p>''Su'Kal, meet Charles Vance, my companion. Charles, here is Su'Kal, my adopted son.''</p><p>''Pleasure to meet you, Su'Kal, I heard so much about you, I am glad to finally meet you in person,'' Charles greeted with a polite bow.</p><p>Su'Kal looked at Charles under several angles, his back round and his head titled, to check on all of his sides like he would examine a foreign object. His fingers seemed to struggle not to poke the newcomer and his weird anatomy.</p><p>"You are… father's ras'houl?'' he asked, visibly lost and confused. ''But you are so tiny!'' </p><p>Saru raised an embarrassed eyebrow. He placed a hand on Su'Kal's shoulder. ''This is not a very polite…''</p><p>''It’s alright, I like his spontaneity," Charles assured, highly amused by his friend’s offspring. </p><p>"But how do you two dance the kira'y?'' Su'Kal insisted with candid curiosity, fingers brushing the smooth miniscule forehead of their guest who could not stop smiling. </p><p>Saru explained to his lover, "The elders told many romantic stories lately and Su'Kal has been very interested in these matters, and the whys and hows of relationships...'' </p><p>Charles nodded. He remembered going through the same stages with Sarah. A soft smile on his face, he looked at the younger Kelpien and explained, "Well when we want to dance I put my feet on top of his feet, so that we are closer in height. It is more convenient. As simple as that.'' </p><p>Su'Kal tried, he really tried hard to refrain himself. He squeezed his lips shut, bit the inside of his cheeks, but could not prevent himself from bursting out into a joyful laugh. </p><p>"On his fe-ee-et!" he hiccuped, tears in his eyes. ''His feet!!!'' </p><p>''Please, bubu, you are being very rude!'' Saru scolded in a gentle tone, amused nonetheless by the situation. </p><p>Su'Kal had to sit on the sand, wheezing. His childlike hilarity was contagious and both his father figures had to contain their giggles.</p><p>"It's okay," Charles assured. ''I really don't mind."</p><p>Saru took his hands to give them a warm kiss. ''I had never heard him laugh so much before, so hard, and for such a long time. Thank you, my love." </p><p>Charles nodded, unable to stop chuckling, "I'm glad I could be of help.'' </p><p> </p><p>The next few hours were spent sharing tea, food, and endless conversations during which Su'Kal proved himself quite curious. He asked a lot of questions about the Admiral, his everyday life, his native world. Charles showed him pictures and videos of his family, explained the bond he had with his daughter, to show Su'Kal how universal parental affection could be. The young Kelpien hid behind his hands when his daddy's ras'houl praised his lunch, and Saru couldn't help smiling the whole time, as he got a taste of what could be his life, in another timeline, without heroic duties nor impending threats. A slice of domestic happiness he could get used to. </p><p>Over the last days, when they had started to plan this visit, Saru had a feeling Su'Kal was glad to see him with a male partner. After what the boy had been through, he wouldn't have handled an adoptive mother as easily yet, but with Charles he got along just right. They played ball on the shore, drew figures in the sand, Su'Kal proudly showed his recent seashell collection. He seemed to spend a very good day in their company. After all he had been through, during his short life, it was a real joy to see him so comfortable in front of a safe, actual stranger.</p><p>A few hours later as they were all sitting on a grass patch, sharing stories and memories, a group of young Kelpiens, boys and girls, walked by. They hailed Su'Kal who knew them a bit now, and could even call them his friends despite his shyness.</p><p>"Hey Su'Kal, we're going for a walk to the waterfall and then we'll have a picnic. Would you like to join us?''</p><p>Su'Kal hesitated for a moment, nervously rocked himself under his dad's kind eyes then asked him, ''Father, may I call you if I feel overwhelmed out there?'' </p><p>"You may,'' Saru smiled, a hand on Su'Kal's neck. "One word from you and I'll come to pick you up. Just remember our conversation from last week about the three C. Go and enjoy your evening, you deserve it.''</p><p>Su'Kal thanked him with a forehead bump, then gingerly joined the group of friends who walked towards the jungle. </p><p>As Saru watched him walk away with young people like him, Charles' voice murmured, ''They grow up too fast, right?'' </p><p>''I am not worried at all,'' Saru replied, not convinced by his own lie. </p><p>"What are the three C?" the human wondered, almost a mutter for himself.</p><p>''Companionship, comfort, and consent…"</p><p>Charles nodded, slid an arm under Saru’s and entwined their fingers, looking up to him as he always did, admiring, smitten, irremediably in love. </p><p>''Would you like to keep your mind busy dancing with a tiny partner?'' </p><p>Saru stretched his legs then laid on the grass, turned towards the sea where the sun was already low. "Does cuddling sound an acceptable activity to you?'' </p><p>Charles did not say a word but the relaxed feel of his whole body when he curled against Saru's side spoke for himself.</p><p>After a few minutes, or was it hours, as time stretched in their comfortable embrace, Charles dared to ask, "And have you… met someone yet, my love?" </p><p>Saru tilted onto his side to wrap himself around his short lover. "I have. He is human, he is handsome, an Admiral no less…" </p><p>Charles rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Saru…" </p><p>"I know you want me to remain open to the possibility," the Kelpien whispered, "But I have too much on my mind. With you and Su'Kal my needs are fulfilled. I have everything I could wish for." </p><p>Several times Saru had been faced with the attention of his peers, some attracted to his exotic reputation, some to his rank, his past, but he had quickly come to the conclusion he did not desire more than his found family for now. </p><p>Charles gave him a respectful kiss to show he appreciated his honesty and would always, always support him. The wind blew a warm breeze, causing the sea and trees to shiver. Their goosebumps were more caused by the contact of their skins than by the cool air. Charles closed his eyes, melting into the embrace. The whole atmosphere smelled like Saru now, and everything felt just right.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And we are done for this story, it feels really strange to let them go. Thank you so much for reading and all of your sweet comments throughout this month. You guys are the best!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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